"Scratchin in the Dirt" Mavis Mudd gossip columnist for the Gazette

 
Mavis Mudd here, my dear  gossip lovers. Please excuse my very long absence. I have been sequestered up in the tippy-top corner of yonder barn writing my memoirs, "Confessions  of a Nosy Busybody". Finished at last! I expect to be on my book tour quite soon. But in the meantime, allow me to scratch up the latest dirt of recent goings on in Hopalong Hollow. Prudi, the little brown hen, had not been seen for at least 2 weeks and the Mistress had written her off as a goner. Then alas, as the Mistress was cleaning the barn, OUT POPS Prudi! She had been hiding in a deep plastic nail bin, and not just hiding, but laying her eggs as well.... on nails!!

 Prudi has never been known for her brain power, but even this egg laying spree defies ALL the rules laid out in my first book " Raising Baby Chicks By the Dozen".  Rule #1 "Find a comfy, soft, out the way corner to lay your batch of eggs" LEAVE IT to a dense bird brain to use a bed of nails as a nesting box.  Why, it was just a year ago that she laid her eggs in an equally unsuitable location, that being a muddy gully in the side yard. Thank goodness the Mistress discovered her folly and saved all the baby chicks from sure disaster!  RULE # 2 in my best selling book is "Do not lay your eggs in a community nest"

  Here is a perfect example of daft imprudence.. Just look at this mish-mash of eggs, all laid in the same nest!
Goose eggs, peacock eggs, a duck egg AND one HEN's egg!  Shame on you little hen, you need to read my book promptly! I can understand that OTHER birds would foolishly and lazily use the same nest... but not a chicken!!!!!
Think about this girls: what if someone decides to actually SIT on all these eggs and hatch them? Do you really want a goose raising your young-uns? Or a silly duck? Oh worst of all a PEAHEN???!

Speaking of which, remember these reluctant brides?
 PEA BRAINS, I like to call them. Well, with Springtime, love is in the air and the potential grooms have never looked more dapper and  dashing. Just look at those feathers! I suppose that tail would seem exciting and splendid IF you like flashy dressers and dandies.

 The problem is, the the Peabody boys seem a bit confused as to whom they are supposed to be impressing with their preposterous presence...

.

I, for one, am NOT impressed... well, maybe just a little bit...hmmmm. if I were just a little younger.. oh, forget I said that! Perhaps the Peabody boys will figure it all out eventually.

Do you remember Alice and Mathilda, the two goose gals that came to us last year?

  WELL, the Mistress has been flummoxed ever since she witnessed, what seemed to be, shenanigans in the creek.... between Alice and Tilly. The kind of shenanigans that should only be performed by a male and female goosey. This led the Mistress to believe that Alice was NOT an Alice.. but an Alex. The Mistress persisted in this belief after witnessing several more "party" sessions  and even began calling Alice, ALEX. And then, one day, she saw that ALEX had laid an egg....in the community nest! So, I guess  ALEX is an Alice after all.
Well, my fine gossip loving fans, I must keep this short as I  am in a rush to get my manuscript off to my publisher, Cackle Press.
 Alas, there is no rest for a busy and famous author such as myself. Yours truly, Mavis Mudd , (chicken lady extraordinaire).
P.S.
The Mistress will be back with you soon... she too,has been busy Scratchin in the dirt,

 Scratchin on eggs... ( She will show you how to do this next week, it's fun and easy)

  and making the BUN BUNS of Hopalong Hollow

 

 She will be back soon!

Happy Spring Y'all