"Greetings and a heck of a hearty HONK, HONK, HONK! Tis I, Fionna Goosefeathers II, giddy with anticipation as I prepare to take you on my first Hopalong Hollow tour.
Following in the webby feetsteps of my predecessor, the dearly departed Fionna Goosefeathers the First, I am now, OFFICIAL tour guide in the Hollow. Won't you Puh-leese follow me?
Let us meander past the roses and chives along the brick paths, ( my, my, the mistress is certainly NOT a brick layer, will you look at these lumpy paths??!)
But, says she, ' "If it's good enough for Colonial Williamsburg, it's good enough for me" ',Whatever that means.
"A professional garden lady spoke disdainfully about Knockout Roses, so the Mistress planted even MORE of them, and surrounded them with wild flowers, she's stubborn. We think that garden lady would not like the wildflowers either and consider them "weeds". But we like them.
"Notice the strawberry beds. Normally, those pesky PEABODY boys would have poked holes in the fruits and taken the best of the best, BUT I got up extra early this morning to pick a basket of fruits, JUST for us! Please help yourself...oh, uh, excuse me, that extra large plump one on the top.. that is mine.... but you can have ANY of the others.
"Speaking of the peabody boys, let me just tell you, ever since they grew those garish tail-feathers they have been unbearable! Strutting here, strutting there, walking the ridgepole of the potting shed to show off those tails to full advantage. Personally, I think those colors rather gouache... and prefer the subtle greys and tans and whites of... of... well, goosefeathers.
LIKE HAMISH, MY DREAMY DREAMBOAT..... ahhhhhhh!
"Oh dear, speak of the devil and the devil appears! Here they come, hurry, hurry,
before they see us and start following us about!"
She sort of gives me the creeps... but the Mistress sees her everyday from her kitchen window and tells the Lord of the Manor, " I just love that girl!"
" Here you will see the Mistress's attempt to protect her new lavender plants from marauding chicken cultivators Silly Mistress, does she really think putting her plants behind bars will protect them from crazed chicken gardeners?
HAH! not a chance, just look at what they did to her little moss garden she planted last week!
"Bits and pieces of mosses scattered all about, hither and thither, simply ruined! Why, if it were my moss garden, I would ring those chickens scrawny necks, indeed I would!"
As we wander up the hill I ask you to observe the strange creatures who dwell here. Each and every night, I thank my lucky stars and the fireflies above that I was born a goose and not one of these!
Can you imagine it?
80 degree heat and wearing an arctic parka? It's a good thing the Mistress is handy with her kitchen shears. She clips and clips and snips away like a whirling dervish!
But it takes her hours and hours.
and most of the debris is simply waste material, oh so very icky.
Save for a little pile of soft fluff.
" When Mistress has finished the job,
she looks and smells just like a barn rat!
That's what I call love...
How one can love a sheep is beyond my goosey understanding..Harrumph!
Sheep never bathe... unlike we feathered folk who are quite particular about our toilette.
Bathing is especially enjoyable in the Mistress frog pond... ooops, I shouldn't have mentioned that , well, we only ate a FEW of those frogs. Now, you won't breathe a word of that, will you?
We splash with regularity at least 25 times a day!
after playing in the mud.
" Now, I would be remiss if I did not take you to Mistress pride and joy, the potting shed garden.
"No, No, NO!
That is the BEFORE picture, when those SHEEP people had to live in that old shack!
That's more like it..
"Oodles and oodles of flowers and plants. It's also a handy place to lay eggs,
if you know what I mean.
"Oh I have so much more to show you, but seeing as this is my first time as tour guide, and I have worked up quite an appetite, what say we give it a rest and mosey on over to the creek bank for a few crawdad canapes??
and pink lemonade? "
Thank you Fionna Goosefeathers II, Now, what's this about my frog pond??!