Mavis Mudd's "Scratchin in the Dirt"....Chickens in the Garden

 Yes, it is almost that time of year again, time for all the chicken folk to gather in the Mistress's garden to do the dirty work. Yes, indeedy, we chicken ladies don our sun hats, our garden aprons and get to work a' hoe'n and a'scratchin! NO ONE can cultivate a garden like a chicken, by golly! We take our work seriously.

We gals are here to work. Trouble is, the Mistress is awful fussy, she says we don't know the difference between a plant and a weed and why don't we just go to the meadow and "cultivate" out there??!!!  She alternates between hysteria, ( when we "accidentally" dig up one of her silly bulbs...for pity sake, there are hundreds of them, surely 5 or 6 bulbs won't make much of a difference), to hilarity, as we do what chickens do best.... act silly. 

  Digging craters in the garden is a no no, but we girls like to take a nice dirt bath every hour or so..... is that so bad? Doesn't the Mistress need a nice deep hole to plant green stuff in? But she grabs  the broom stick and begins to threaten. of course , we know good and well she would NEVER actually use it on us.....she is such a softy. And we go back to our weeding.

She says those worms are supposed to be  enriching the soil for her herbs and veges.... and not providing us  with our breakfast lunch and dinner, but who can resist a fat wiggly, tasty, and creamy worm for petes sake! And workin in the garden gives a chicken lady quite an appetite.

Besides that, she actually OFFERS them up to the ducks! Ducks, who never did a days gardening in their lives... they just quack, waddle and splash all the live long day,

 while we chicken ladies do all the work.

"Stay away from those Spanish Bluebells, or they will never bloom!" she screeches. It is no wonder her hair is turning gray.

The Lord of the Manor says," Why don't you just put them in a chicken coop, like normal people do?"
"I can't do that. They are free-range." she protests.

  And so she devises all sorts of barriers and fences to keep her little plants "safe" from us . 

 Miniature round fences surround bedding plants and  the dreaded chicken wire  covers the ground where little seeds have been planted. Tin cans and glass domes enclose plants that we would simply love to examine ( for horticultural reasons, of course).

Broken pots and bottomless tin buckets enclose her re awakening perennials..

and broken garden tools make barriers for emerging tulips.

.

(the garden tool graveyard)

 "I will remove them AFTER the plants are established", she mumbles under her breath. She grabs the wire cutters and fashions yet another mini fence .......... And in the meantime, the garden looks like Fort Knox what with all the barriers and such.

 Now how does she expect us to help out when we can't even dig our claws into that
scrumpdeli-icious soil ??!!

  Oh my, do you remember the little chickpeas hatched by Plain Jane Black, back in December?

 Just look at them now!  They are simply marvelous gardeners. Here they are taking a siesta on the porch swing after a tough day of weeding.  Jane never uttered a word about the "daddy"  Hummph, still waters certainly run deep where Jane is concerned.

 The Mistress promptly chased them off the porch after snapping this photo, " "How can I claim to be a Lady of the Manor with class and distinction, when I have chicken poop all over my porch!!??" she complains.

But for all her griping, she has to admit that there is nothing prettier than a chicken amongst the flowers and herbs.

We chickens never lose our petals, we are always ever colorful and fluffy. And we provide hours of jolly entertainment, Not to mention those big FAT eggs EVERYDAY.

Don't you think we deserve some time in the gardens???  Even though we occasionally make garden boo boos, at least we don't EAT the flower petals like some people I know....

A note from the Mistress of the Manor:

I confess, I cannot give up my chickens OR my gardens and it is makes gardening twice as much work .... in the beginning. Once a flower garden is established and you have a decent ground cover beneath your plants ( wild strawberries , creeping thyme, and creeping jenny make a nice, chicken proof mat) , then the chicken folk are not interested. They just love newly dug soil, which  is why I must "CAGE" any new plant. When I want to plant seeds, I  just cover them with wire metal trays or chicken wire until the plants are established. It has taken me 2 years to reconcile my gals in the garden, but I am learning more every year.

 Listen, if you have ever met a chicken lady, you will find you cannot resist her. And if you will let her roam the gardens to her hearts content, you will never see another Japanese Beetle, I promise! And you know, they really ARE excellent little weeders.